2025-02-06 -37 145

Location

On the rail track next to Armadale Station.

Participants

Expedition 1:

Stevage
KT

Expedition 2:

Cam
Lachie

Expedition 1 (by Stevage)

A geohash in the middle of an accessible public transport route is one of those dreams all geohashers have, from the time they emerge from the cocoon to take their first fledgling steps to a suburban park and pluck up the courage to duck under a tree branch and slightly soil a spotless sand shoe. Who amongst us can deny having glimpsed a coordinate apparently smack-bang on the route of the Queenscliff-Sorrento ferry and for a brief moment, considered the madness of driving down for a one-in-a-million shot, only to zoom in and find it's not even close.

But if you wait patiently long enough, the opportunity might arise. And on this day, it does, in spectacularly convenient fashion: a point in the rail corridor of a regular train line in the middling southeastern suburbs of Melbourne.

It's a spectacular opportunity for KT, recently qualified train driver. Melbourne's train network is divided into two halves, and this line (Frankston/Cranbourne/Pakenham) is one of her lines. She's working today. Yesterday, she was complaining about how many Frankston runs they keep giving her. "Monotonous" she calls it. She could be the first person to knowingly drive a train through a geohash.

But today...no. It's all Watergardens. It's a crushing blow.

After her first run, she calls the rostering office. Surely they'll be happy to give her a Frankston run next? The conversation takes an unexpected turn. The duty officer is in a good mood. There is an excess of drivers today. He gives her the rest of the day off.

Wait. What?

Confusion. She's happy. But disappinted. But mostly confused. She didn't see this coming.

Which is very much like my experience with the lowest branch on a loquat tree at CERES yesterday. I turned my head suddenly, and suddenly my eye socket was full of spiky wood, rather than just fleshy eyeball. It's an unhappy combination, and 24 hours later, I'm still feeling a bit sorry for myself. No permanent damage, but the scratched cornea will take a few days to heal.

It's perfect timing for a public transport expedition, really. I don't think I'd be up to cycling anywhere.

KT and I meet at Flinders St Station. She's out of uniform, but out of habit keeps nodding at station staff. They have no idea who she is. Fortunately, they're well accustomed to dealing with all manner of weirdos and don't think much of it.

We debate which train to take. There are options. To me, they are equivalent. KT takes a moment to ponder whether she's in the mood to ride a Comeng, a Siemens or an X'Trapolis. Certainly not an HCMT. Never an HCMT. She settles on a Comeng, and on we hop.

We're greeted by a swede seated just inside the door. It doesn't say much. I thought it might have been a turnip, but KT is pretty convinced.

The hash is "on the up". For non-train nerds, that means it's on the track used by trains heading in to Flinders Street Station. So first we'll have to go past the point, then take another train back through it. This all goes smoothly.

Being seasoned public transport users, we flawlessly exit the train at the correct station, transfer to the correct platform, and catch the next train back in.

As we approach, we squish up against the window to be as close as possible. KT needs a bit of encouragement in this regard, but ultimately gets on board.

We whoosh past. There it is! A non-descript bit of ballast next to a stanchion. Whee!

But something is gnawing at KT. A ravenous hunger. She hasn't eaten in far too long. Back in town, we make our way to the delightfully anachronistic Paramount Retail Centre. It's a little time capsule of 90s nostalgia, with quirky but surprisingly tasteful decor. And what a food court! It's huge! KT loves a food court. I love a food court.

I came across it in a Philip Mallis video, and was shocked to have never come across it before - I've spent a lot of time in that part of town, at the top end of Chinatown. Hopefully there'll be geohashes in Boronia, Mooroolbark, West Heidelberg and Lalor soon.

Side note

So...did we definitely go through the point? It's pretty hard to be sure. Unlike a normal hash, GPS isn't really an option: it's too inaccurate on the train, and wandering about in a busy rail corridor on foot would be a terrible idea for several different reasons.

Satellite imagery is notoriously inaccurate, but comparing three sources:

- Google Maps shows the point on the very edge of the trackbed. - Bing Maps shows the point slightly further outside. - Mapbox shows the point on the other side of the track, within the trackbed.

The distance between the rails is exactly 1.600m, the improbably precise conversion of 5 foot 3 inches into metric. The train we were on is 2.948m wide, meaning the edge of the train is about 67 cm outside the rail.

Overall I think we were probably within abut a metre of the point, and almost certainly within 2-3m of it. Not as definitive I'd like, but good enough. And with this level of disagreement between imagery sources, it's hard to see how any other train track point would be much different.

Photos

On the train
GPS (inaccurate) proof!
View from our outbound train. Red marks roughly where Google Maps shows the point.
The Paramount Centre.
KT enjoying a succulent meal of goat and okra.
Look at that architecture!