2023-02-11 -38 143

Sat 11 Feb 2023 in -38,143: -38.6191979, 143.4883106 geohashing.info google osm bing/os kml crox

Location

In a giant thicket of blackberry brambles, on a farm in the Otways.

Participants

• KT
• Joff
• Lauren
• Rowan
• Adam

Expedition

I wanted, so very much, to get this GeoHash. I tried. I really did. And I was only 227m away from the goal. Please take a moment to remember my pride, who sadly did not survive this encounter.

So it began in a small AirBnB in the Otways, where Joff, Lauren, Rowan, Adam and myself were enjoying a pleasant weekend away. The topic of GeoHashing came up – Joff did one way back in 2008, and it’s been on Rowan’s radar for a long time.

The app said there would be one in our area the next day – 9km from where we were staying, and about 750m from the end of a road. This seemed achievable for all of us. No problem at all. We are living the dream.

Ready to win

After a pleasant morning looking at waterfalls, we pack into Joff’s car and turn off the main road at the appropriate tiny dirt road. It looks like it belongs to a farm, but it’s technically a named road and there are no gates. So in we go to the end of the road, which culminates in some kind of cow shed. Definitely ‘private road’ vibes, but no one seems to be around so we pile out of the car.

Doesn't feel particularly public, but on we go

We’re about 750m from the hash and clearly on someone’s farm. The hash looks to be in the thicket of trees to the west of the fence. Is that the property boundary line? We decide it feels less suspicious to walk through the trees, so we crawl under the fence.

Look at these anarchists

It all feels very exciting. We are pumped up and Ready To Hash!

Nothing can stop us

Then we see the problem. The thicket of trees is not only a thicket of trees but also a gigantic thicket of blackberry. Canes as tall as my head, stretching as far as the eye can see. It is a literal ocean of blackberry, and there is no end. In the famous words of Scooby Doo: ruh-roh.

Except brambles

We consult the map. We have two plans: 1) If we follow the creek/waterway on the map we may be able to bypass a good chunk of blackberry. 2) If we go directly down the hill, we can bypass a few hundred metres of blackberry.

Green represents the bramble thicket of terror

It becomes apparent that ‘we’ have no plans because no one else wants to walk down the hill, and no one else wants to navigate the blackberries. So I have two plans. I decide to 2) go down the hill and try to cut across from the 450m mark.

I can’t give a guarantee on how long it’ll take, so I say my farewells to the group and send them on their way. I’ll call them when I’m done, or walk back to the AirBnB.

I make it as far as I can before having to turn towards the blackberries. It is bad. Very bad. I can’t describe how thick these brambles are. Photos don’t do it justice.

Sure I'll just walk through 450m of this

But I arm myself with a Blackberry Whacking Stick and venture into the terrible depths of Blackberry City.

I then get a message from the others, informing me of a snake sighting on their way back to the car. Not a great omen, but I soldier on.

And it is hot. Each step is painfully slow, and also generally painful. My shoes are getting shredded by brambles, my yoga pants mercifully thick. I’m sweltering in my puffer jacket, and it also takes some damage, but it’s stronger than my skin.

It takes me about 30 minutes to get 100 metres, but I am determined. I get another message from the crew, informing me of another snake sighting.

The face of regret

I’m starting to feel a bit uneasy. If I get bitten by a snake out here, there is no way paramedics could reasonably navigate these brambles. However, like a big idiot I continue on, sweating and cursing all the while.

It does occur to me that this is a dumb idea, however the longer I’m struggling the more determined I am not to let this effort go to waste. I want that victory more than ever. Then I get the report that yet another snake has been sighted back with the group.

I’m now about 250m away from the hash point, at this stage fairly dehydrated and possibly a little delirious. Navigating the brambles is arduous. My spidey sense finally starts to tingle, and I decide to text my situation past Stevage. “Three snakes? Jesus fuck lady get out of there,” comes the reply.

He makes a valid point, but I simultaneously think well, what if I went just a little bit further? After all, there is unlikely to be a snake in such thick brambles while I’m making a ruckus. Though I press on hesitantly, I don’t really feel good about it. But 25 gruelling metres later, I see a glimpse of a small, beautiful clearing in the brambles, just in front of me, like a desperately needed oasis.

My soul lifts. Spurred by fresh energy, I'm quickly horrified to discover the clearing is occupied by the biggest, fattest brown snake I’ve ever seen. It is big and I have woken it from its snooze. Upon seeing a sweaty, stick-wielding maniac coming towards it, it thankfully slithers away into the brambles.

Horror seeps into all of my limbs, and it is suddenly very, very clear that this is one of the dumbest things I’ve done in a long time. I turn around and shred the absolute daylights out of my yoga pants in the world’s most desperate bramble-infested retreat.

I shout! I stomp! I bang my Blackberry Stick on the ground so hard I need to replace it twice.

But I make it back to the edge of the brambles without incident, jelly-legs wobbling and a lingering sense of impending doom. I message the others. Turns out they were worried I might need an evac and have been waiting by the car the whole time. I am grateful.

A sight for sore eyes

I stumble towards them through the middle of someone’s cow paddock, because the grass is shorter this side of the fence, and I practically crumble with relief once I reach them.

We all have a good laugh, share snake stories, and head back to the AirBnB where I proceed to hog the bath for some much-needed r & r.

Really takes the edge off an NDE

Achievements

KT earned the Velociraptor Geohash Achievement by reaching the (-38, 143) geohash for 2023-02-11 with highly visible raptor claw marks.