Locals may be confused about why all these strange people are coming from all directions and gathering at this random point. Here are some suggested stories to tell them -- help fill out the list:
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Slightly Devious Methods
Silly Stories
| “ | Take me to your leader. BEEP BEEP
|
” |
—Most effective when wearing antennae
| ||
- "Don't you know? On this site, 50 years ago, there was a bloody Mafia slaying." "Totally. Three of us are ghosts."
- Pull an Aaron Diaz: "What year is it? WHAT YEAR IS IT?" Act relieved that it's not yet 2012, then panic and say you need to find the Google founders immediately. Ask for directions to California.
- Claim to be a research team sent from the internet to investigate the real world. Act really intrigued by leaves and dirt. (Alternately: "We're lost. Can you direct us to the internet?")
- Pretend to be the Verizon tester people.
- Say you're looking for Sarah Connor. Bring a copy of that picture from Terminator. Works best if you are alone.
- Say you're looking for River Tam. Wear blue rubber gloves. Works best if there are two of you.
- Say you're looking for Carmen Sandiego.
- "Why are you here?" "Hey, everybody's gotta be somewhere."
- When asked, say you are looking for rampant internets that recently escaped from an unsecured wireless network.
- "Yeah, we have a token ring network, and someone tossed the token out of the window while they were driving by here. Have you seen it?"
- "Who are you? What are you doing in my house?"
- "I lost my doggie. Can you help us find it?" If they mention that it seems like a lot of people to be looking for a lost dog, offhandedly mention various details that imply that your dog is, in fact, a bear, or perhaps an elephant.
- If the property owner tells you that you're trespassing, start explaining the principles of the Free Culture movement, repeatedly insisting that everything should be free. Continue until he gets bored and leaves you alone. NOTE: An unwise choice for an armed property owner.
- "Lost a contact lens somewhere around here..." Bonus Points if you can get them to help you look.
- "We are making an epic Internet movie! It's about GPS. And trees." Success is directly proportional to the coolness of your camera.
- Say you're looking for bugs ... big bugs. It helps if you are wearing black suit and sunglasses.
- "Are YOU my Happy Meal™?"
- "Where's Waldo?" (or Wally, or Charlie, for those outside of North America) Bonus Points if you are dressed as Waldo. Even more Bonus Points if they help you find Waldo.
- If they ask why you are there give them a long and awkward hug followed by "I think we both know why I'm here." Bonus Points if they agree.
- "Well, I would have stopped earlier, but someone kept screaming something about it being 'bat country'."
